He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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