I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
