WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
