When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
