playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
