Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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