But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize