Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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