i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
