fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
