found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
