either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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