dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
