I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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