we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
