my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize