Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
