That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
