Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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