I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
