I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize