He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's always time for handjobs
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
