An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
