Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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