did you get engaged???
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize