By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
