and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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