i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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