im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
