She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
