I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
