omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
