didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
