It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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