david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
