If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
