Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
