go do what you do best...puke behind churches
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
