I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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