Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
