My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
