also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
