it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
