May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
