are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
