dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
