I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
