I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
