Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
