I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
