She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
