You made me cry and you don't even care
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
