I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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