So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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