I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
