Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
