The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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