This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
