Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
